Struggling With Homosexuality
by Beth J. Lueders
I'm attracted to people of my same sex, so this must mean I'm gay.
Attraction to someone of your same sex does not brand you as a homosexual. Often same-sex attractions involve more emotional attachment than sexual chemistry. Perhaps you are drawn to the engaging kindness, generosity or affirmations of a person of your same sex.
If you've lacked healthy bonding in your childhood, especially with your same-sex parent, you may be highly dependent on other same-gender relationships to fill your void for validation and security. You may also confuse healthy same-sex demonstrations of love and acceptance as sexual overtures.
Homosexuality is a relational problem of satisfying emotional needs in an unhealthy way. You can stuff your confused sexual feelings or act out on them and slide into sexual entrapment. Or you can seek help to sort out the root issues to your sexual attractions.
I've experimented sexually with someone of my same sex so this proves that I am a homosexual.
Sexual experimentation with someone of the same sex is most likely to occur among young people who are adjusting to their changing bodies and budding sexual feelings. A sexual encounter does not mean either or both participants are gay. Sex is solely intended for male and female adults in a marriage relationship. God never intended for you to express yourself emotionally and sexually in homosexual activity. If you have experienced a same-sex liaison, you may need to grieve your loss of innocence and the wounding of your soul, but this does not label you as gay.
It is crucial that you do not let a sexual encounter with someone of your same sex develop into a pattern. It may be time to seek appropriate help to reclaim your sexual wholeness.
Since childhood, I've always preferred typically ‘girly' things, even though I'm a guy. There's no question I must be gay.
Just because you prefer more feminine, rather that typically masculine, things does not mean you are gay. The same goes for females who prefer more masculine things. Many people venture outside "typical" gender roles when it comes to interests and activities. Such behavior is not an indicator of their sexuality. Perhaps you've faced teasing and rejection for your more feminine interests or even your body build or a sensitivity. These negative experiences can lead you to feel "different" and question your sexual identity.
It's important for you to understand that you were not born with homosexual genes. After decades of intense study, no conclusive empirical evidence shows biological, genetic or hormonal causes for homosexuality. Increasing data, however, supports an environmental and societal connection to sexual orientation.
I understand that there is no way to change homosexual behavior. Once you've lived the gay lifestyle, simply reversing it and being heterosexual just isn't possible or culturally acceptable.
Change is always possible, but it is never easy. Disengaging from homosexual behavior is typically not a miraculous event, but a painstaking process of emotional and spiritual work. God placed the capacity for heterosexuality in the heart of everyone, so He understands what is required for each individual to forsake homosexual preferences.
The Bible talks about two oppositional natures warring within. "But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members" (Romans 7:23, KJV). Coming to the end of yourself and unhealthy sexual practices is part of surrendering your will to God's best for your life.
God offers forgiveness and unconditional love and acceptance as people seek deep abiding change through His ever-present help. Thousands of ex-gays speak to the realities of a transformation in sexual behavior and the rewards of sexual healing. Working through underlying relational and abuse problems are crucial to healing. You can learn to replace destructive behaviors with wise choices one day at a time.
I struggle with homosexual thoughts and see this as a sign that I must eventually act on these thoughts.
Struggling with homosexual thoughts does not automatically lead to acting on these thoughts. Each of us is responsible for turning away from unhealthy thoughts and temptations or allowing these thoughts and temptations to cross over into harmful behavior. There is a difference between facing sexual temptations and letting those temptations simmer into lust.
Thinking sexually about someone of your same sex may bring immediate pleasure, but this quick fix breeds long-term dissatisfaction. As with any unhealthy thought pattern, the key to mastering your thoughts is to surrender them to God and ask Him to transform you from the inside out by renewing your mind. Don't be discouraged if your troubling sexual thoughts don't immediately dissipate. Lasting freedom is won step by step, thought by thought.
Copyright © 2005 Beth J. Lueders. Used by permission. Taken from TroubledWith.com. A Scripture reference is edited to King James Version text.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Are We Worshiping?
by Bro. Elijah E. Abanto
Only this last December 2008, on the third anniversary of our church, we heard a veteran pastor preached about the importance of worship to God. Although this person was wrong in the application of this concept (his reasons to adopt the "praise and worship" style and speaking in tongues), his view about its importance and its lack in most of the Baptist churches is biblical and true.
And only in the past few weeks, a veteran missionary said that many of the Baptist churches are not really worshiping God because the songs we sing in the hymn are not for worship, but only testimonies and evangelistic songs.
And in these two it has not become clear what is the real meaning behind the word worship. And when I investigated, I saw that in general, we are wanting in this aspect.
Donald S. Whitney, a Baptist who authored the book Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life (NavPress), has shared his experience on his tenth birthday. His birthday must have been happy, because there was much food, and gifts; also, all his family and friends were there. But as they watched baseball in the Superbowl, all of them left him and he was now alone while watching. "It reminds me," he said in relation to the story, "of how we treat God in worship. Though we come to an event where He is the Guest of Honor, it is possible to give Him a routine gift, singing a few customary songs to him, and then totally neglect Him while we focus on others and enjoy the performance of those who are in front of us"(Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, p. 86). And yet, after it, is we think that we have done our obligation correctly to worship Him. But not really.
According to the Encarta® World English Dictionary, the word worship is derived from the Old English word weortscipe, or worthship, the means the "condition of worth" or importance. This agrees to the passages we could read from the Bible that narrates certain scenes of worship to God like Revelation 4:11; 5:12-13. Providing worthy regard on God-that's one meaning of worship.
In the Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary, worship means "respect or reverence tp a divine person [as God]" (p. 1031). The respect or reverence "is a work not starting from the outside inwards, but from the inside out. Before you respond to your parents disrespectfully disrespect must be already in your heart first. Before you really and lovingly hug your spouse or child or friend there must be true love in your heart first. It's the same with God.
And from what we feel inside we cannot but respond and focus our attention towards Him. When you see the beautiful sunset, or the voices of birds, you can think of the greatness of the Creator and from your heart you will fall on your knees, or cry, or sing, or say thanks to Him. That the very meaning of worship: "to focus and respond to God" (Whitney, Spiritual disciplines, p. 87). Read these two passages from the Bible for examples of worship: John 20:28; Revelation 4:8. Notice also that in many cases those whom Jesus healed would "kneel down and worship before him."
From there we can say that what the missionary said was not true that we do not worship God if we don't sing "worship" songs. The application also of the veteran pastor is also wrong that we can only worship God if we do the "praise and worship" style. How about the dumb who can not even speak? How about the maimed and paralyzed who cannot jump or raise hands as do Pentecostals? Worship is more than singing a worship song or jump or raising hands that they are telling.
God's revelations of Himself to us bring us to worship God, which includes (1) the Creation (Romans 1:20); (2) His written Word, the Bible (2 Timothy 3:16; 2 Peter 1:20 -21); and (3) the Living Word, Jesus Christ (John 1:1, 14; Hebrews 1:1-2).
Singing is not only the expression of worship. You may worship God even by just reading the Bible; listening to preaching; praying and listening to prayer; even following him and anything we in His name, may become worship. But more than these, worship is when we become preoccupied with God that we cannot think of other things. That's worship.
But, like I said, there are many in our church, and I think also in the majority of Baptist churches, who do not really worship God--notably the very workers. It does not mean that if you are the busiest in the worship service you are the one who worships God most. Often the opposite.
I saw this fact in our Bible school students. (Note that I'm not against the School; worship is a personal issue.) Note that most often the students who study in the Bible school are workers of the church. Every time we have devotion in the morning or at noon Chapel hour you will see the insincerity of the students--including me sometimes. You can see that they are dictating to the song leader or the leading student, making fun of or laughing at the message or testimony, the students are chatting, and not concerned about the order. The one I see to be the most sincere in what he does is this 1st year student who is only about six months in the Baptist church and he comes from the Pentecostal faith.
Returning to the church, you will see a mother looking around while the congregation prays; children chatting while the pastor preaches or the choir sings; children eating junk foods while the message is preached; people going up-and-down because they need to go to the "CR." The the workers were busy preventing a noise, taking the attendance, filling up the visitor's slip, and asking what is next in the "worship" program. They sing only when they remember to sing, read when they like to and close their eyes when they prefer to. Yes, they are not chatting, but they are not also thinking of the pastor's message. Their eyes are closed, but in fact what they will eat by lunch is what they are "praying." Many are also sleeping. They are singing, but not from the heart. They give, but only because of responsibility. They are active in the church, but they lives are not right before God. Brethren, that's not worship. It's shaming God. The Guest of Honor must have been wanting to leave because there's really no worship. Remember, worship is from the inside out.
We become like the Pharisees, to whom Jesus has said, "This people... honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me. ... in vain do they worship me"(Matthew 15:8-9). It's called hypocrisy.
Worshiping God is worshiping Him "in spirit and in truth" (John 4:24). In spirit, or within, and in truth, or without. That's true worship. It's not necessary and we should not adopt music that does not in accordance to God to say you are worshiping. You need not jump at raise hands to say that you are worshiping. What is needed is our focus of attention and responding to who He is.
Are we worshiping? We know now what is true worship. Can we make it true this time?
Only this last December 2008, on the third anniversary of our church, we heard a veteran pastor preached about the importance of worship to God. Although this person was wrong in the application of this concept (his reasons to adopt the "praise and worship" style and speaking in tongues), his view about its importance and its lack in most of the Baptist churches is biblical and true.
And only in the past few weeks, a veteran missionary said that many of the Baptist churches are not really worshiping God because the songs we sing in the hymn are not for worship, but only testimonies and evangelistic songs.
And in these two it has not become clear what is the real meaning behind the word worship. And when I investigated, I saw that in general, we are wanting in this aspect.
Donald S. Whitney, a Baptist who authored the book Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life (NavPress), has shared his experience on his tenth birthday. His birthday must have been happy, because there was much food, and gifts; also, all his family and friends were there. But as they watched baseball in the Superbowl, all of them left him and he was now alone while watching. "It reminds me," he said in relation to the story, "of how we treat God in worship. Though we come to an event where He is the Guest of Honor, it is possible to give Him a routine gift, singing a few customary songs to him, and then totally neglect Him while we focus on others and enjoy the performance of those who are in front of us"(Whitney, Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life, p. 86). And yet, after it, is we think that we have done our obligation correctly to worship Him. But not really.
According to the Encarta® World English Dictionary, the word worship is derived from the Old English word weortscipe, or worthship, the means the "condition of worth" or importance. This agrees to the passages we could read from the Bible that narrates certain scenes of worship to God like Revelation 4:11; 5:12-13. Providing worthy regard on God-that's one meaning of worship.
In the Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary, worship means "respect or reverence tp a divine person [as God]" (p. 1031). The respect or reverence "is a work not starting from the outside inwards, but from the inside out. Before you respond to your parents disrespectfully disrespect must be already in your heart first. Before you really and lovingly hug your spouse or child or friend there must be true love in your heart first. It's the same with God.
And from what we feel inside we cannot but respond and focus our attention towards Him. When you see the beautiful sunset, or the voices of birds, you can think of the greatness of the Creator and from your heart you will fall on your knees, or cry, or sing, or say thanks to Him. That the very meaning of worship: "to focus and respond to God" (Whitney, Spiritual disciplines, p. 87). Read these two passages from the Bible for examples of worship: John 20:28; Revelation 4:8. Notice also that in many cases those whom Jesus healed would "kneel down and worship before him."
From there we can say that what the missionary said was not true that we do not worship God if we don't sing "worship" songs. The application also of the veteran pastor is also wrong that we can only worship God if we do the "praise and worship" style. How about the dumb who can not even speak? How about the maimed and paralyzed who cannot jump or raise hands as do Pentecostals? Worship is more than singing a worship song or jump or raising hands that they are telling.
God's revelations of Himself to us bring us to worship God, which includes (1) the Creation (Romans 1:20); (2) His written Word, the Bible (2 Timothy 3:16; 2 Peter 1:20 -21); and (3) the Living Word, Jesus Christ (John 1:1, 14; Hebrews 1:1-2).
Singing is not only the expression of worship. You may worship God even by just reading the Bible; listening to preaching; praying and listening to prayer; even following him and anything we in His name, may become worship. But more than these, worship is when we become preoccupied with God that we cannot think of other things. That's worship.
But, like I said, there are many in our church, and I think also in the majority of Baptist churches, who do not really worship God--notably the very workers. It does not mean that if you are the busiest in the worship service you are the one who worships God most. Often the opposite.
I saw this fact in our Bible school students. (Note that I'm not against the School; worship is a personal issue.) Note that most often the students who study in the Bible school are workers of the church. Every time we have devotion in the morning or at noon Chapel hour you will see the insincerity of the students--including me sometimes. You can see that they are dictating to the song leader or the leading student, making fun of or laughing at the message or testimony, the students are chatting, and not concerned about the order. The one I see to be the most sincere in what he does is this 1st year student who is only about six months in the Baptist church and he comes from the Pentecostal faith.
Returning to the church, you will see a mother looking around while the congregation prays; children chatting while the pastor preaches or the choir sings; children eating junk foods while the message is preached; people going up-and-down because they need to go to the "CR." The the workers were busy preventing a noise, taking the attendance, filling up the visitor's slip, and asking what is next in the "worship" program. They sing only when they remember to sing, read when they like to and close their eyes when they prefer to. Yes, they are not chatting, but they are not also thinking of the pastor's message. Their eyes are closed, but in fact what they will eat by lunch is what they are "praying." Many are also sleeping. They are singing, but not from the heart. They give, but only because of responsibility. They are active in the church, but they lives are not right before God. Brethren, that's not worship. It's shaming God. The Guest of Honor must have been wanting to leave because there's really no worship. Remember, worship is from the inside out.
We become like the Pharisees, to whom Jesus has said, "This people... honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from Me. ... in vain do they worship me"(Matthew 15:8-9). It's called hypocrisy.
Worshiping God is worshiping Him "in spirit and in truth" (John 4:24). In spirit, or within, and in truth, or without. That's true worship. It's not necessary and we should not adopt music that does not in accordance to God to say you are worshiping. You need not jump at raise hands to say that you are worshiping. What is needed is our focus of attention and responding to who He is.
Are we worshiping? We know now what is true worship. Can we make it true this time?
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